I won’t be watching the Golden Globes tonight. There’s an important football game in my world and I’ll be watching that. I’m sure you’re devastated. I’ll try to tweet/bluesky (is that a verb) some of it if I can remember to do so. Set your alarms accordingly.
Weirdly, the Golden Globes has, seemingly out of no where, decided to tell you to bet the shit out of it, this year. YAY DEBAUCHERY!
And you might as well. I mean, why not? The world has gone straight to shit. Might as well bet the kids’ college fund on Sinners…responsibly, of course. Bet responsibly.
Don’t forget that the Golden Globes historically goes all wacky with its TV accolades. It can be super unpredictable (See for example the year it gave Party of Five outstanding Drama Series, months after FOX cancelled it). So keep that in mind when you’re taking out a second mortgage.
However, in recent years it seems to have gotten in line with everything else. I don’t think that will be drastically different tonight. Expect a shit-ton of The Pitt, The Studio and Adolescence to wet your whistle before they dive into the way-more-important film awards.
If you want some help betting the TV categories tonight, this is how I think it will pan out. You can ride or die with me accordingly.
Outstanding Drama Series
1. The Pitt
2 (tie) Pluribus / Severance
4. The Diplomat
5. The White Lotus
6. Slow Horses
Outstanding Comedy Series
1. The Studio
2. Hacks
3. Abbott Elementary
4. Nobody Wants This
5. The Bear
6. Only Murders in the Building
Limited
1. Adolescence
2-6. Just light your money on fire
Looking for sure-fire bets?
Noah Wyle ain’t getting beat for The Pitt
Rhea Seehorn will win Best Actress in a Drama Series. Ryan will cry tears of happiness.
Seth Rogen will undoubtably win again for The Studio.
If you want to win pennies on your dollar, ride with Adolescence.
Looking for some upsets?
The Globes might get weird with the Outstanding Actress in a Comedy Series. Jean Smart is losing wall space to keep these things…and her speeches are getting progressively more “fuck everything,” to the point where they may want to spare the viewers.
Ayo Edebiri might be a gutsy little bet that could pay off. I also wouldn’t be shocked to see Natasha Lyonne win for Poker Face.
It’s also super-weird that they put all the supporting actors from all the categories in one place; pitting Owen Cooper from Adolescence against Tramell Tillman. Cooper seems to be a massive favorite there. But I think a bet on Tillman could cash.
Finally, if I had a vote (which, for the love of God, guys PLEASE give me a vote), this is what I’d do with it.
Drama – The Pitt
Comedy – The Studio
Limited – Adolescence
Standup – Kumail Nanjiani
Lead Female Actor- Drama
Rhea Seehorn (Pluribus)
Lead Male Actor – Drama
Noah Wyle (The Pitt)
Lead Female Actor – Musical / Comedy
Selena Gomez (Only Murders in the Building)
Lead Male Actor – Musical / Comedy
Seth Rogen (The Studio)
Male, Lead, Limited
Stephen Graham (Adolescence)
Female, Lead, Limited
Michelle Williams (Dying for Sex)
Female Actor – Supporting Role
Erin Doherty (Adolescence)
Male Actor – Supporting Role
Owen Cooper (Adolescence)
Go Pats!
Tube Notes with Ryan Benharris 